Tuesday, December 2, 2008

The root of all weirdness

Some children were born "with a silver spoon" while I on the other hand "with a swallowed pin". Yes, a pin- not just an ordinary pin but a diaper pin. People used the old fashioned diapers which we call lampin instead of the disposable ones.

This was the start of my weird transformation; the
inauguration of my weird magnetic powers.

Powers that attract uncanny, embarrassing, humiliating and strange circumstances in my life. The kind of incidents you wouldn't tell your friends, your date, boyfriend, future husband, kids or priest for the fear that they might think you've got lose screws up that nutty head and might end up spraying you with holy water.

I was born the youngest of four children and the only girl. My brother before me was born on April 1 (April fool's day) but I guess, all at magnetism drew the curse on me instead.

My parents were so thrilled to see me finally born. Everybody in our neighborhood - aunties and uncles would stop by my crib and play with me. They were so happy to see a healthy baby girl finally arrive in our home. They were so overjoyed up until that fateful pin incident; without knowing what baby they were even about to deal with.

To make the legendary story short, my nanny just put me down for about 1 minute to get something when all of a sudden got petrified to see me swallow my diaper pin. She immediately alerted my parents, granma, uncles, aunties and the rest of the town.

The doctor was a bit disconcerted but more amused at the thought that a baby just swallowed a pin with the whole town talking.

To be sure, an X-Ray was taken and pin was seen right inside my stomach. I wonder if my mom still has it- that thing's worth great sentimental value in our town!

"Is it out yet?", inquired everybody as I was just left on the crib to do the "number 2". An hour went by, nothing happened. It was like THE most thrilling movie- everyone couldn't help but ask and check on me. Two hours finally rolled and suddenly after a diaper check, my mom
startlingly announced "It's out!".

"Yeah!", everyone rejoiced in our little home that day. They celebrated the end to the dreadful nightmare with laugher and jokes. It was bigger than the town fiesta and better than sex-people got a huge dose of adrenalin that day.

So that's the end of the legendary pin story..little did they know that it was only the start and the root of all weirdness. It was a good thing I was too young to remember or even care- otherwise I would've ended up hiding my face for the rest of the year!

Moral of the story? Forget the past and accept your fate- as weird as it may be.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Oddity of the week

Crazy. That word would be an understatement for the week that's about to end.
There were booboos after booboos, never ending projects but nothing beats the earplugs. Yes, earplugs- two tiny plastic tubes that are the new lifesavers- at least for those in my household and the nearby areas.

I've been living like a stoned zombie and everynight would be hell for me. The saddistic construction workers love pounding and working all night 'till you die.

I have been living like this for weeks and it's finally took it's toll.

The worst thing about the noises at night is that they're just repetitious.
10 times worse than a broken record and 20 times worse than wearing the wrong pair of shoes to the mall. Don't even ask..

The windows couldn't block the sound from entering; they weren't the sound proof type. Note to self: only use sound proof windows; for your own sake and for your neighbors' sake; especially during "Friday night fevers".

My mom took pity on me for my sleep deprivations and decided to call the project Engineer. A jolt of thought to myself- finally my mom's gonna complain and let them pay!

For those of you who don't know my mother yet; don't worry, you will, eventually..

My mom's got these super powers that could give vendors, cab drivers, carpenters and doctors a run for their money.

She's just fearless which I admire and most of the people never say no to her.
The only exception were the earplugs.

She called the engineer with an odd request.
"Can you buy us earplugs?". Earplugs?? Way to go ma. It's been 2 days already but no earplugs and so pops bought me a pair in the mall. We went to the mall to go earplug hunting. Funny, I would have bought those for myself but pops insisted. It was just THE answer to all my prayers.

So now I felt so happy coming home with the brand new earplugs and the whole vicinity was deafeningly quiet! Hey, unfair. Nobody pounded and squeaking cement maker wasn't going out of whack either.

I grew to love the idea of earplugs; now that I couldn't wait to use them and it's zip.

Bummer. This just cracks me up. Life's got a GREAT sense of humor. So much for those earplugs, and so much for tonight. Moral of the story? Use sound proof windows.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Why oh why?

"Why weirder than fiction?" you might think when I haven't even written anything weird-worthy or strange.. as yet.
Well, I've always been this independent, low key girl growing up and most of the time I would get myself into uncanny experiences and I thought blogging about them would help make this world a better place.

Better in the sense that more people could learn from my embarrassing mistakes and make more embarrassing ones of their own.

The first few entries, in lack of better words- are merely forewords or intros so you can get a glimpse into the life of this nut who calls herself youroyalweirdness.

I guess that word (weird) resonates with me more than - sexy or shy..

Those just didn't 'call' to me.

I am currently compiling my shenanigans and getting the facts straight as admittedly, my memory gets distorted after years of trying to forget the humiliation they brought.

So.. there it is. Now you know.

and THAT's........


Friday, September 26, 2008

Vehicles ♂ and ♀ want

This is me in work mode.

I know, how- what's the word for this - tame?

To those who don't know what I "do" yet, please refer to my second blog post 'coz I'm too lazy to explain. This was an article I recently finished which hasn't been made public on the web- yet. I couldn't resist the urge of sharing this. These days, someone close to me (a guy), is in a car mania. And what a better and timely way of explaning this car mania than through this article which I unintentionally wrote.

We’ve seen how vehicles evolved through the pictures in history books and museums. They had different forms and functions. However, function wasn’t the only important factor to designers and consumers. Aesthetics and style played crucial and constant roles as well.

Ancient civilizations have started the tradition of designing and embellishing their chariots, wagons and other ancient forms of transportation. Egyptian chariots of gold and silver decorated with date palm branches, animals and other motifs were the most preferred.

Today we see how different people especially the men, choose to buy cars with slick wheels and other parts and accessories. The whole craze is absolutely nothing new and as the famous saying among men goes- “you don’t drive a car, you wear it”. A car can magnify a lot, if not all of the traits of its owners and here some of those clues.

  • For the women, safety, reliability and value are at the top of their list while men prefer performance, power and style.

According to Imre Molnar, dean of College for Creative Studies (Detroit), men’s desire to showcase power and aggression with the vehicles they drive stems from an “animal nature”. They dress up their vehicles as if it’s “mating season,” he quips. Molnar further elaborates that these attributes of masculine, big wheels, flush or protruding wheel faces and high “shoulder line” and taut lines can be found in most vehicles men drive today. Predator-looking vehicles that sit higher at the back have the “ready to pounce” look and this has become very common among sedans. At the top of the list are vehicles made for looking good and going fast or as Molnar calls them “testosterone show-off devices”.

  • Studies, however, prove that most women prefer vehicles that are understated, opulent and with a comfy interior.

“Ease of entry and useful interior storage, including space for a purse, are elements that make vehicles especially attractive to women,” states Brigid O’Kane, a design professor and coordinator of the Transportation Design Track program at the University of Cincinnati.

  • To create a distinctive look, women wear jewelry, high-end fashion and expensive handbags rather than cars while men create an image of wealth and influence by the cars they “wear”.
  • Buying used vs. buying new: While men are most likely to buy used vehicles if they can’t buy the flashy new one, women are prone to settle for a new affordable car rather than their dream model.
  • In general, men are more willing to sacrifice a smooth ride for sharp handling than women or to overlook an impractical cargo arrangement for an engine more pep, experts say.
  • Strategic Vision’s new-vehicle experience study shows that 31 percent of men said driving is one of their favorite things to do, while only 18 percent of women said the same.
  • According to the experts, SUVs with a “big and powerful” look resonates with men, while small, inexpensive vehicles are preferred by women.

So now you’ve got clues on what vehicles most men and women want. These studies and indicators fairly explain what vehicles both sexes prefer to drive or “wear.”

Friday, September 19, 2008

How '80s' are you?

I Love The 80's

Year of birth: 1980
Favorite 80s cartoon characters: Carebears, Rainbow Bright!..Thundercats..
Favorite 80s singer: Madonna (La Isla Bonita!)

Favorite 80s dance hit: The Name Game! (..banana fanna foe!.. me..my moe..)

Favorite 80s song: Video Killed The Radio Star - I think this was also the very first music video aired on MTV
Favorite 80s music video: Thriller (it scared me alot)

Favorite 80s TV series: Perfect Strangers, The Golden Girls, Punky Brewster, Beauty & the Beast (in no particular order)

Favorite 80s looks/outfits: rubber shoes, studded cuffs, jeans/leggings w/ a bandanna tied on one leg, pig tails, transformer watch (in red!), short hair w/ bangs, big lense shades!

Favorite 80s movie: The Mannequin (..nothing's gonna stop us now..)

Favorite 80s party scene: In-house Disco!

Favorite 80s radio station: Y101

Favorite 80s hang-outs: Robinson's, Gaw, Conney Island (only on Sundays)

Monday, May 19, 2008

Birds of the same feather

It took me a while to blog again.
Yes, the salad didn't kill me - obviously.. Too bad evil wishers :)
Two weekends have passed and there were missed opportunities for spilling beans of spicy blunders.
But spilling beans would get myself in a mess as well so I decided to be a good girl tonight and merely blog about other stuff up my aged sleeves -at my expense (duh, whoelse's?).

So..Here's a question for ya..
How do you know you've grown old?
The answer could be as easy as cake..
But how do you know you're not the only one who's grown old?
My answer:
When you go on a night out with friends and all of you start yawning after each other..

Yes, unfortunately for my friends and I (you know who you are witches!), we've sadly accepted the fact that eyeing the guys in the bars could land us in court with the likelihood of 1/1.

I was out on Saturday night for a movie date with two friends and then decided to go to the usual places girls would go for a drink.
The three of us just sat there and in no less than half an hour or so, yup you guessed it- started yawning and looking at our watches. Don't get me wrong, I love their company, it just so happens that we've grown too old for this sort of stuff.

There's this overused adage that says "Birds of the same feather flock together"..
Now that is old. Being the self-confessed internet addict that I am I have my own li'l words o' wisdom to throw.

I say "Birds of the same feather stumble together."

I am not referring to the word stumble as a metaphor though. I am talking about the next best thing to whatever it is you use to surf the net with. Forget Google- they too've grown old.. Stumble Upon is excellent -I'd give it a million thumbs up if I had the extra thumbs..And by all means, don't just take it from me, check it for yourself.

And contrary to the saying "Curiosity killed the cat" I say, DIE. The internet is a worldwide buffet of lively, unexpected, smart and creative stuff. You'll miss out on a million genius things if you haven't stumbled yet.

Bollocks, I should get paid for this ad!

Thursday, May 8, 2008

the biggest animal

Today I learned something new.. Care to know? Okay, even if you don't I'll share anyway. Did you know that the blue whale- the biggest animal on earth has a tongue the size of an elephant?

My sister-in-law was watching 'Are you smarter than a fifth grader?' and this was one of the biggest questions.

Thanks to shows like that one, blue whales' tongues will always have an elephant attached in my mad imagination.
And if it weren't for the blue whale's elephant-sized tongue, my mind would be totally blank now..

This happens when I don't get enough sleep. Last night, after a greasy, self-indulgent dinner with close friends, insomnia crept in and not even a beer could help. So I decided to go back to my usual routine of having salad for dinner tonight. Nothing fancy, just some lettuce,
singkamas (our local turnip), carrots, apple and the best ingredient of them all- pork tocino! Kids and adults, please don't try this at home. I am no dietitian, I just experiment. Don't worry, you'll know if I'll survive or not.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

the peaceful nook

If you happened to pass by my place recently, I wouldn't be surprised if you stopped for a second, dumbfounded look. Our gate was adorned with huge graphics using colors that gave you an illusion that you took a wrong turn somewhere and wound up ending in a resort. Multi-colored flags by the fence made it even more apparent like icing on a cake.

There's a residential condominium being constructed beside our home and no, this is not ours. The only thing I'm grateful for, aside from the glorious resort-like facade, is the extra security.

No more weird-fellows-hopping-over-the-fence-from-next-door-with-a-guy-
carrying-a-bolo-chasing-him afternoon special and we no longer have to bust our horns and wait for hours for our 'gate engineers' to open the gate. I guess the developers got it right by calling the area 'a peaceful nook'. Our neighbors too, look in astonishment, as if those guards were hired officially just for us. So for those who thought of stalking or pulling a nasty prank on me in the crib, BEWARE.

The property has been given the name Wood Crest, although we only have some coconut trees and a few bamboo sightings in the area. Jokes aside, please do drop by for a visit to the
web page. You might know some people who'd love to relocate and become my first glimpse of a normal life.

Monday, May 5, 2008

do you ear what i ear?

I'd like to share with you my secret recipe for staying "sane". Forget Lobotomy and what it promises, last.fm feeds me all the music my ear drums could possibly crave for.

I start and end my day with music- the daily showers, long drives to the office- just about anywhere I could plug my ipod into... It must be the most over-used and over-plugged ipod EVER.. Oh yeah.. And like I always say- if music were food, i'd be very fat by now..

This widget is one of my all-time faves. Forget the weather widget!
..To all those musically-inclined descendants like myself.. BEHOLD THE QUILT!
Take that Wynona..

Sunday, May 4, 2008


Hi.. At the crib again enjoying the cool night breeze. I must admit, thinking about what to blog about is like picking a sheep on the sheep market and wondering what to do with it. But don't get me wrong here, I kinda love the idea.. I mean 10,000 sheep drawings? ..I KNOW, RIGHT?

Tomorrow I work as a Marketing Associate for a vehicle trading company and it's been a fun ride to say the very least. A lot of things have been happening that helped made me grow. Like I couldn't get over the other day when an officemate of mine explained to me about the word Lobotomy. I have never come across such a word in my life and was grateful for the extra points it added to my dwindling IQ. It's definition in wikipedia is just as uncanny as the word sounds - in the city where I come from, people's eyebrows could get raised , or worse, you could get slapped when using it in a conversation. Guys, don't say this -especially to girls from my area.. You'll know why.

Friday, May 2, 2008

my first post!

Helloooo! I am spending the Saturday afternoon in the crib, which is out of the ordinary since I usually attend to my clients -who are slowly turning out to be my second family. We've been working on the interior design of their not-so-new house for over 8 months now and I am proud to say that this baby is well on it's way to labor. This is my first ever post here and I already gave you a nugget of background on my life- if that is what it's called.

I am still trying to get used to the controls & settings in blogspot, so please bear with me. My slightly demented brain is slowly processing a bigger chunk of information than the usual.